During our times of troubles, the first thing to break and the last thing to hold on to is "Our Faith!"
I had a deep conversation with a colleague-not-yet-friend and a friend last evening regarding faith and I realized how much I had lost my belief in God.. It was a simple gesture of a cross on my neck, a habit I had from childhood, a small little cross on me that gave me hope and comfort.. Just like scriptures says "tie it to your arms and neck", this little piece was beyond a jewelry.. It was symbolic to my faith, it was symbolic to the strength I received!!
I've always been proud of my God's presence and strength in my life, I've been blessed beyond measures!! But the first thing I lost during my turmoil was my faith.. I remembered Job but practicality and logic began taking the upper hand suppressing that light of faith!! I questioned the existence of God to push me through such troubles that I couldn't get out of.. I felt like I was drowning in a bottom less quicksand with nothing to hold on to!! I felt despair about my life!! And then I felt that calmness, that comfort, that solitude!! He was very much in my life!! He was the one holding on to me when I was panicky and fidgety in that quicksand!! As a famous story goes regarding the "Footprints in the sand", He carries me through troubles. Though at times it feels hopeless, He sure is there with me!!
Yesterday during my conversation, I realized that though my logic has pushed me to the verge of being an agnostic, there was a believer and that belief radiates through my being!! Yes, I still doubt things at times, but it phases out when I remember my God who can work wonders!! I believe what a new found accomplise just texted me, "Everything happens for a reason!" My underdeveloped brains may not comprehend that vast complexity of the Divine plans.. But I sure trust Him to lead me on and to carry me through my moments of weakness.. He's there always, as a friend, as parents, as a random person who mysteriously helps you!! I've felt His presence and His strength!! And putting a cross back on my chain, it feels like a proclamation of my faith, of the challenge I give life "Bring it on buddy, I've got a friend And He will help me face you!"
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