We all crave the attention of people!!
We all secretly hope to have someone that can be at our beck and call when we need them, not out of compulsion but because of that deep bond of understanding with them!!
We all know that friends have their priorities and cannot be available for us at all times, and so we need someone that we know will be with us!!
People say that you need others because you don’t love yourself enough!! But no matter how hard you try, you can never find that sense of security holding yourself as much as you find in the arms of someone you had loved!!
People say that dependence on others is the cause of pain and you need to be independent enough to not crave anything from anyone!! But man is a social animal, cannot survive without the circle!!
People say that you should remember your responsibility because the burden of responsibility generally wakes up the reality!! But some days you just wish for someone to share your burdens with!!
And all these expectations is what generally leads to the biggest pain in life - Loneliness!!
We set certain expectations in life, we fail to reach or get what we expected and the resultant feeling we experience is what we call pain!! The dictionary doesn’t agree though, pain for them is either the physical unpleasant sensation or the excessive care or trouble a person takes!!
When we go through a terribly emotional phase, the pain radiates to the body too and has physical manifestation, so yes, pain can be emotional or physical!! But why do we put ourselves through this over and over again??
It’s a very human thing to have attachments with people or things and when you are attached to them, you can end up having certain expectations in return!! So when my friend says something rude, my partner makes no time for me, my kid ignores me or if my scooter breaks down, I surely will feel pain (the magnitude falling lower in each case)..
But can we live without any attachment to people at all? Unless and until we reach the pinnacle of Nirvana, I believe it is not possible.. We still will love people and be there for them. But we need to do it with the disclaimer to ourselves that they may not be there for us when we need them to and that is the risk of pain I am willing to take.. Can't think of life to be quid-pro-quo where others should reciprocate the same way I do.. Yes it will cause pain, yes it will hurt, yes it will trigger all the subsided trauma. But I will still rise once that pain passes.. The disclaimer makes us a bit prepared for the pain so that it doesn't take us by surprise. And the best part of expecting the worst, either you are prepared for that or some people surprise you and is there for you, which I believe is a win-win"er" situation in life..
Pain has a very bad ring to it!! But it does help us become stronger, it teaches us more about ourselves and helps us face the remainder with more zeal!! But that only happens if you let pain be a lesson than a choice of life!! We all find our own ways to cope with life, we find out measures to protect us, develop our own coping mechanisms (some are self-sabotaging sadly).. But we eventually draw a path that we can tread through this journey of life..
A life without struggles and pain is impossible!! It’s as if life throws over these pebbles when it feels that it’s a bit happy and cozy for us!! So why not pave a way with these pebbles that life is throwing at us? After all, they say, when life gives you lemons, make a lemonade!!
