From a young age, an Indian girl is taught that the house she's born in is just a temporary residence.. Her house and family is the one of her husband's..
The girl dutifully believes it and dreams of making a house at the place she gets married into.. But in that house she's been constantly reminded that it's not hers.. She's questioned on her behavior, judged on her ways of living.. She is taunted as to what did her mother teach her as if the life until marriage was supposed to be the training ground for her life after marriage..
Being at your place is the feeling of being comfortable enough to be your honest self, a place where you're not judged.. That's the kind of life most of the girls enjoy at their parents home until they get married.. But despite accepting the husband and his family as her own, his community as her own, setting forward to finally start her family and build her home, despite putting in everything she has to make her new home her own, a girl is constantly reminded that her parents are answerable for her behavior, her roots are still at her maternal house no matter how much sweat and blood she sheds for "HER" family..
Have you ever wondered why is a married girl questioned if she stays at her parents house over a couple of days?? Why is it a matter of concern to the world whether she chooses to stay with her parents or in-laws?? Even parents tell their daughters to go back to "HER" house after a couple of days otherwise"Log kya kahenge".. God forbid the situation where a girl leaves her marriage and seeks sanctum at her parents house and the whole world steps up to degrade her and her family, questioning her upbringing and character!! (Ask for what she suffered to take that stand before passing a verdict).. What doctrine does the world propogates expecting a girl to uproot herself from the place she's born and raised and then start life at a new place being the "perfect" person?? Why is the DIL a favorite trophy, either how PERFECT my daughter In law is or how the worst of the humans came into my life as my daughter in law!!
Can you imagine the doubt in her mind on the place she belongs?? Can you understand the dilemma she faces?? Do you feel an iota of her pain?? Maybe you'll understand your mom's and wife's plight better once you know the complex thoughts that runs in her mind.. Our mom's get a house when she gets a daughter in law home or if her husband has his own place.. I am not the one to preach to leave your parents once you get married, staying together is the best to happen.. But the thought changes drastically with the equation who is staying with whom.. If the parents stay with the son, the girl may not be judged as much as she would be if the son stays with her parents..
I know many of you think this isn't even a topic for discussion, this has been the practice since ages, why suddenly should this come as a thought!! But this is an age old practice where a girl is expected to adjust and groom herself to the family she's married into.. A girl needs her house, a place she feels liberated and unjudged, a place she can be herself without the prying eyes on her.. Open your eyes, peruse through the people you know, somewhere definitely a girl's tears will be seen!!! Give a house to a girl, she will give you a home!! I don't think anyone, be it a girl or boy, wants anything more than ending the day at your own place where you can finally be free from the obligation and be yourself, lose your inhibition and be at peace!!!
