Break the Bias!

How happy can a single mother be? How can a mother be able to provide stern guidance to a growing-up boy without a father? How can a woman run a house and look after the kid without a husband? How can a woman feel secure without a man? How can someone with a broken academic chart make something for herself after almost a decade? How can someone with a broken marriage face life? Well, these are queries thrown on me when my decision of walking out of an abusive marriage came out in the public. Being from a close-knit Christian community has some drawbacks in the form of well-wishers who mean well but doesn’t realise how outdated their outlook about success and happiness is. Gone are the times of “adjusting” and “tolerating” an abusive husband just because you get a social acceptance of having a family. ! 

Mi Fuerza, Mi Vida, Mi Amor : Mi Hijo!!

Hey my boy,

It’s so fast that time has passed!! I remember vividly the excitement of finding those “double lines” on the test strip!! I remember the butterfly flutters inside me when you moved!! I totally remember the sleepless nights, swellings and aches I felt when pregnant!! I can never forget the endless hours and pain at the hospital!! But what I don’t remember is how you grew up so fast!!I don’t remember how did time fly so fast that a tiny little being snuggled under my arms is now a pretty grown up boy, still snuggling under my arm!! 

I can never claim of being a great parent!! I’ve failed as a mother all along, I've made many mistakes.. I experimented parenting on you!! But you gave me a hug or smile and so much of love that it made me want to be a better parent!! People say that parents raise kids, I would say that it’s a two sided street!! Parents impart life skills to kids, parents learn about life and love from them!!

You taught me what forgiveness is, because I could hold grudge forever but you taught me how easier it is to forget the hurt! There are times I’ve removed my frustrations on you, reacted badly under pressure from other things!! Yet, you never once stayed angry on me!! Rather you would make it a point to be the first one to initiate a hug when I apologise!! 

You’ve  grown up a bit more quicker and mature than what you should have!! I was almost a kid when I had you; both of us grew up in these years!! I did not know anything about parenting despite having read millions of text on the same!! The practical part of parenting is dealing with life and learning on the go!! Both, you and I, grew up and is figuring life as we go on!! 

I have always told, and will always boast about how it is you that saved me, gave me strength, gave me love!! You are the reason I face life with a smile, you are the reason I have a motivation to face yet another day!! People say I am strong, well, a lioness always protects her cubs.. And I have enough reasons to be strong having you with me!!  

You are everything I am proud of. I am so happy to see you growing up each day into a wonderful human being. Every time you show your loving, caring, gentle side, I beam with pride for doing something right in life.. You happened to me at a time I was not ready for you, but I am glad such a happy accident happened.. Although parenting is a daily struggle, the satisfaction and love in return is worth it.. As I always tell all my young parents, "Cherish the days.. The days seems long but the years seem short". I can't believe you are turning 7 in a couple of months.. Time definitely has flown!! I am sure some day you will be grown up to read this letter and comprehend it, until then, stay this young, cute, bubbly ball of love for a bit more longer!! 

Mi fuerza, mi vida, mi amor!!