I am blessed with a healthy body, a smart mind, a loving family, decently good looks, pleasant personality and an ability to gel well!! None of these things were learnt by me nor was anything strived for!! It was all given to me!!
But when the only thing that I worked hard for, that I put my whole heart into failed to work out, I lost my connect with God!! I blamed the supreme power for that failure, that pain, that torture!! I blamed Him/Her for putting me through something S/He knew had no future!! I stopped praying!! The only conversation was “why did you put me through this pain? Why do I have to go through this torture? Why do I go through his heart break and feel my heart break every moment?? Why do I have to deal with the after shock even years into the main event??”
And I hated the Almighty and thought this lovers tiff is permanent!!
And then my therapist told me to start maintaining a gratitude journal!! From “I stayed alive today” to a list flowing through a page, life has brought me to a realisation that I have too many things I take for granted which are blessings when viewed through someone else’s perspective!! And I should be grateful for what I have!!
This has brought me back into a connection with God!! And this time I also would say that it’s just Grace that I have become who I am!! If I found strength during adversity, it’s because I found the right people that stood by me and brought me up!! And nobody would have been there had there not been someone above that brought them there at the first place!!
From strangers to being my support, these people helped me up!! And I have faced adversity, standing strong and ready for every challenge!! The confidence I have is gifted, the resilience I boast about is given by the strength that’s given to me when the scripture tells me “I’m there”!!
Yeah, we do have a shaky relationship, and that’s true for every relationship!! But I guess this tiff helped me get closer and understand God a bit better!!
