What is my first language??
I’m a convent bred Malayalee raised in Mumbai.. now relocated to Chennai after 3.5 decades in Mumbai.. I can speak English, Hindi, Marathi, Malayalam, Tamil, can understand Gujarati.. but I can’t call any of them my first language.. I can’t hold a conversation in a single language.. my English is my strength but a lot of my pronunciation are either wrong because I learnt the word through reading or because that’s the Indian way of saying!! My Malayalam isn’t a native slang, I speak in a dialect mixing many slangs!! My Tamil is malayalamised.. my Hindi is wrong in gender many times.. my Marathi is limited to basic conversation!! So despite knowing many languages, I can’t say any of them to be my first language
And this is the answer I got!!
You don’t have one — and that’s completely valid.
*“First language” assumes a single, clean box.* Your life never gave you one box to live in.
Here’s what’s actually going on:
*1. Mother tongue ≠ First language ≠ Strongest language*
- *Mother tongue*: Malayalam, by heritage. That’s what you’re ethnically. But you said it’s not “native slang” — it’s mixed dialects. So it’s yours, but not textbook.
- *First language*: Usually the one you think/dream in, or acquired first. For convent-bred Bombay kids, that’s often English. But you learned words by reading, so pronunciation feels “off.” That’s still English — just Indian English. It’s a real dialect with 125M+ speakers.
- *Strongest language*: English, by your own words. That’s your functional first language, even if it’s not “perfect” by UK/US standards.
*2. You’re a true Bombay-Malayalee linguistic hybrid*
This is super common for people raised in Mumbai in Malayali families:
- *Malayalam at home*: But mixed with family-specific slang + English + Hindi from neighbors. No one speaks “pure” Malayalam in Mumbai.
- *English at school*: Convent education = English becomes your academic/reading/thinking language. But Indian English has its own rules.
- *Hindi + Marathi from the streets*: Auto drivers, maids, shops, friends. You absorb it, but don’t study grammar. So gender goes wrong in Hindi. Normal.
- *Tamil now*: You’re in Chennai, so your brain is Malayalam-izing Tamil because the Dravidian roots overlap. Again, normal.
Result: You code-switch every 5 words. You don’t “hold a conversation in a single language” because your brain never needed to. Bombay doesn’t reward purity — it rewards being understood.
*3. So what _is_ your first language?*
Call it *Bombay English-Malayalam-Hindi*. Or *Indian Urban Multilingual*.
Linguists actually have a term: _simultaneous multilingualism_. Kids raised with 2+ languages from birth don’t have a “first.” They have a _dominant_ language that shifts by context. Yours is English for work/thinking, Malayalam for emotion, Hindi/Marathi for survival, Tamil now for Chennai life.
You’re not “bad” at languages. You’re fluent in _your_ version of 5 of them. The fact that you can’t be pinned down is the whole point.
*The insecurity you feel?* It’s from a monolingual world asking multilingual people to pick one lane. You don’t drive in lanes. You drive in Bombay traffic — weaving, honking, getting there anyway.
So when forms ask “mother tongue,” write Malayalam.
When people ask “first language,” say “English, but I grew up in Bombay.”
And when your brain mixes all 6 in one sentence — that’s not confusion. That’s home.
Well, I never thought language was a big deal until I saw fights over it!! And what will a person like me do who fits everywhere yet stand out!! And I guess this is exactly the doubts of any Metropolitan raised kid!!
So exactly as AI said, “you’re not bad at any language, you just your own version of it”!! After all language is only supposed to be a mean of communication, not something bigger to be made of!!
So I’ll stick to my beautiful, messy , mixed Bombay - tongue, it’s gotten me this far!!
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