Motherhood

How do I describe the feeling that motherhood brings?

 

The very first time I saw a tiny form covered in blood being taken away from me, it did not sink in that this being would become the most important being in my life.

 

I wouldn't say that my heart was overwhelmed with joy and love seeing him the first time, all I wanted to do was sleep!! 

 

When I woke and reality sunk in, I saw a tiny being in a bassinet near me - unlike the cute baby pics I have seen - a wrinkly being in an oddly white color!! 

 

When I could not feed him in the first two days, it felt like a failure!! But then when he got admitted due to jaundice in just 3 days of being outside me, I realised that maternal instincts had kicked in!! I could not leave his side, could not see him hurt!! 

 

Then came the bittersweet relationship - can't wait for someone else to take him for a few hours just to get some sleep and the restlessness when he is away and wanting him by my side the minute he is gone!!

 

 Over the years we grew closer to each other - understanding each other and finding a manner of cohabitating with love and smiles!!

 

From taking care of him to him understanding my needs and being outrightly caring, I see that my baby is growing up and he is growing up well!!

 

From his toothless grins to his detailed explanation of his outlook on life - I am proud of the person he is growing up to be!!

His conversations are engaging, he has a reason for everything, he is independent enough to take care of himself, knows his routines and keeps tabs on his own schedule!! He enjoys our trips, and it is no more me caring for him at a different location, but two people enjoying the experience together! I did not expect my kid to grow up this quick!!

 

The last 8 years have had its shares of ups and downs - there are many things I wished I could do differently, there are many things I wished I could do again, there are many things I wished I could have done sooner!! But one thing I know for sure, I wouldn't have life any different than the one I have now - because it is this life that gave me the blessing to be a mom of this sweetheart!!

 

 

"Mi Amor, Mi Vida, Mi Fuerza, Mi Hijo"

 

Growing up

You know you are growing up when your regular 11 pm movie dates are now rescheduled to ensure you are home latest by 11 pm!!

 

You know you are growing up when you don't give more attention to your attire when you step out to shop rather the list of things you wish to accomplish in a single trip!!

 

You know you are growing up when you don't do things to make someone else happy, rather do things that make you happy!! 

 

You know you are growing up when money credited makes you immediately calculate the liabilities to be cleared and the investments to be made over the excitement to celebrate.

 

You know you are growing up when business parlance becomes your language of communication over the informal communication style!!

 

You know you are growing up when you realise that you cannot call on to someone else for the errands in the house rather learn to do it yourself - from fixing a faulty tap to shooing away mice from the house!!

 

You know you are growing up when weekends are all about completing tasks and catching on to the sleep pending during the week!!

 

You know you are growing up when you look for ways to save some bucks!!

 

You know you are growing up when you no more call out "mummy / daddy" but step up and do things yourself!!

 

You know you are growing up when the days you don't come home exhausted feels like an accomplishment.

 

You know you are growing up when an extended weekend makes you excited!!

 

You know you are growing up when your birthday does not excite you as much as planning your kid's does!!

 

Growing older is definite, growing up is a choice!! And I know I am growing up since I am proud of the person I have become!!