How do I describe the feeling that motherhood brings?
The very first time I saw a tiny form covered in blood being taken away from me, it did not sink in that this being would become the most important being in my life.
I wouldn't say that my heart was overwhelmed with joy and love seeing him the first time, all I wanted to do was sleep!!
When I woke and reality sunk in, I saw a tiny being in a bassinet near me - unlike the cute baby pics I have seen - a wrinkly being in an oddly white color!!
When I could not feed him in the first two days, it felt like a failure!! But then when he got admitted due to jaundice in just 3 days of being outside me, I realised that maternal instincts had kicked in!! I could not leave his side, could not see him hurt!!
Then came the bittersweet relationship - can't wait for someone else to take him for a few hours just to get some sleep and the restlessness when he is away and wanting him by my side the minute he is gone!!
Over the years we grew closer to each other - understanding each other and finding a manner of cohabitating with love and smiles!!
From taking care of him to him understanding my needs and being outrightly caring, I see that my baby is growing up and he is growing up well!!
From his toothless grins to his detailed explanation of his outlook on life - I am proud of the person he is growing up to be!!
His conversations are engaging, he has a reason for everything, he is independent enough to take care of himself, knows his routines and keeps tabs on his own schedule!! He enjoys our trips, and it is no more me caring for him at a different location, but two people enjoying the experience together! I did not expect my kid to grow up this quick!!
The last 8 years have had its shares of ups and downs - there are many things I wished I could do differently, there are many things I wished I could do again, there are many things I wished I could have done sooner!! But one thing I know for sure, I wouldn't have life any different than the one I have now - because it is this life that gave me the blessing to be a mom of this sweetheart!!
"Mi Amor, Mi Vida, Mi Fuerza, Mi Hijo"
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