Well, I have been in love, in more than one occasion in my life and that probably gives me an insight given my overthinking on the subject!!
The first love happened at 19.. All I set out was with the fantasy of love!! I just imagined a life straight out of the multitudes of novels I’d drowned myself in!! So I poured it all!! Falling in love with my best friend was all I ever wanted and it happened!! So much so that I had my fairy tale wedding with the man I had fallen in love with!! It was beautiful until reality struck in!! But it was naive and innocent and true in every sense!! I felt butterflies with him!! He would make me laugh and I would laugh whole heartedly as I never had known heart wrenching pain before him!! It was sweet, innocent and the purest love I had experienced in my life!!
Well, it unfortunately didn’t last and had the most painful ending, the aftermath of it still lingering even after half decade of it ending!!
Well, obviously then the heart gets cautious of the people it will let inside after that!! But loneliness coupled with “hope” sometimes makes you do things and getting on to the online platform felt like a sensible decision!! And obviously after months of chatting with a bunch of people, I found the “male” version of me (well to a great extent)!! A kind, innocent, full of life and wearing heart on his shoulders, he patiently waited and made me comfortable enough to let my guards down!! I finally had someone care for me, show concern, reach out to me, have my back!! Well, I couldn’t have been more happier than when I was with him!! I finally began to laugh as I used to!! I began doing things I really had enjoyed!! I felt supported, I was guided, I finally had someone to have any mundane conversation with, someone to wish me a “good morning”, someone to check on me, someone who learnt about me each day and made my fantasy a reality!! Well, I lived a dream with him!!
Sadly, not all good things last and this ran its course!!
But I still am reminded of the fact that I had been loved right, and loved deeply, if only for a short while!! And it’s a bliss!! I remember him fondly!!
Love happened in its own time, it was good and the good times were worth remembering!! And I wish those exes of mine the best because once you have genuinely loved someone, you can never wish anything bad, no matter how they might have hurt you!! Sometimes the pain of loss is too gripping and I wished I hadn’t fallen in love so hard, well, falling in love is never in your control and I can never love half hearted!! So the pain is bound to follow!! But those days when I felt alive, safe and happy is totally worth it!!
It’s better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all!! Because those moments are memories that reminds you the beauty of life and how it feels to be alive!! And I’m sure someday that love will knock the doors again, maybe this time to stay longer!! But yes, I’ve experienced love in my late teens and early thirties, both were different but both of them has changed me for the better and I wouldn’t want to change anything of it!! Don’t let love slip away, people spend a lifetime searching for it, so once you’ve found it, make efforts to keep it!!
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