Well, I didn’t set out to be alone!! There are days I hoped I could have someone to have my back, someone as my back up!! But I’m immediately reminded of that someone that had my back supposedly but reminded me each moment of the favour he confers by taking care of me and our son!!
So, now, by Gods grace, am in a position where I can fend for myself.. I don’t need anyone to run the errands, don’t have to ask anyone permission to buy me something, can afford to go on those impulse spendings on books, cute nothings or tattoos without too much of a thought!! Can plan trips based on my son’s vacations, without answering a plethora of questions to anyone!! Can eat out, go for movies on whims!! Can spend the weekend in any manner that pleases me!! Can buy the healthier version of things despite it being the expensive one!! Can do things without second thought of financing it (also, I do know my limits so I don’t spend more than what I’ve accounted for! And I also do keep aside a portion for these impulse buyings and lending so that my routines aren’t gone for a toss)!! It feels so much relief to not worry too much of the expenses when there’s a salary inflow assured at the end of the month..
And after the years of toiling hard enough to reach this position, and after those feelings of loneliness subsiding to a great extent, I don’t feel that comfort anymore to lose this found independence for anyone.. I don’t think I can go back to asking permission for anything.. I doubt if I can trust anyone else with our lives because I’m sure they will bring up the topic of how much they’ve to do for us!!
So the reason why you should choose to be settled in the early years in because you can easily adapt to a life with someone!! Because once you’ve tasted independence, once you’ve learnt to have a life by yourself, you would prefer to live with the loneliness over the repeated pain of heartbreak!!
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