Healing the broken heart

A friend had posted on facebook "why does relationship fail? "

I thought hard and deep to reply her
"When you give your everything and yet get nothing back, when you cater to their needs but you don't have your wishes catered to, when you are not allowed to be yourself, follow your passion, when other people are called to get involved when the two could figure out how to work it out, when your core beliefs are altered to please someone, when you need to constantly remind them that you're being neglected and not taken care of, when you realise you've done your best and you're totally drained to do anything more: all of it gradually adds to it and one day you just snap.. When you realise you've got nothing more to offer and you're drained, you walk out."

But then what? The heart still loves, the heart still hurts, the heart still longs, the heart still hopes.. How can you just shake yourself and say, "wake up day dreamer, it's over.. Get a hold on yourself and move on.." What hurts more is that when you snap and when you threaten to walk out, you have a hope that your partner will hear your plea, see your pain and realize that something needs to be fixed and make it work.. But life isn't so easy..

No matter how hard you convince yourself it's over, you really can't bring yourself to accept that truth.. You still can't believe it's an abrupt end to your happily ever after.. People may tell you "whatever happens, happens for the best" but it's so much easier said than done..

It's important to replenish yourself before giving someone yourself.. And then starts the beautiful journey of healing, forgiving and accepting.. Then the heart finds a new found strength.. It's just like a phoenix.. Bursting into flames and beginning again, rising from the ashes..

The heart that was broken finds comfort, finds peace.. Inspite of the frequent meltdowns, the heart seems to learn to be genuinely happy again.. The meltdown frequency reduces and happiness increases.. One day, just like that, you realise that you're happy no matter how painful the journey was.. The broken heart heals, leaving just a few scars to remind itself of what happened!!!

More than words!!

Saying I love you 
Is not the words I want to hear from you 
It's not that I want you 
Not to say, but if you only knew 
How easy it would be to show me how you feel 
More than words is all you have to do to make it real 
Then you wouldn't have to say that you love me 
'Cause I'd already know 
What would you do if my heart was torn in two 
More than words to show you feel 
That your love for me is real 
What would you say if I took those words away 
Then you couldn't make things new 
Just by saying I love you

A wonderful song by Extreme!!

We all have learnt that communication can be both verbal and non verbal.. With the advent of technology, the communication is confined to words being exchanged which results in more confusion since the non verbal complementary component is absent.. You don't need words to express yourself if the person with you can read your cues..

My son squeezes my hand when he's scared, I just cuddle him closer.. I know he's scared by the touch and he knows he's safe by the hug.. His genuine smile, his laughter, his concern all shows his extreme love.. His "I love you's" don't match up to the infinite expression of love my kid shows during the day.. He says "love you " when I tell him, but he shows he loves me even when I don't expect him to.. He knows my anger looking at my face, he knows to drive me up there n he also knows to calm me.. All this done by a kid who doesn't speak much..

In short, feelings are not what's put out in words.. It's good to hear it.. But it's even better to feel it.. Because sometimes words don't do justice to the feeling.. If the person feels the love, there's no need for the words..

For a romantic, life revolves around love.. When you find someone you love selflessly and you are loved back in the same manner, life is perfect and worth living.. Can't be more thankful for this little guy who has taught me the meaning of love without even having to use words!!

3AM

3am is said to be the time when magic happens.. Writers write, musicians compose, wise men get to work..

It's that ungodly hour when the whole world sleeps but the restless minds (and hearts) toss and turn.. When some seldom noise of a heavy vehicle interupts the eerie silence.. When the heavy heart begins to over analyse and burdens itself.. It's that time when the muffled cries explodes into screams.. It's the hour when the deepest fears surfaces.. It's the hour when you are with yourself and you cannot pretend any more.. It's the hour you're yourself, unmasked, vulnerable, exposed, weak, a person who dreads the dawn..

Yet again the sun rises and the person inside is put to rest.. The mask is adorned, the smile is pasted, the routines are done and life goes on.. The person inside waits for the stillness and quietness, the loneliness and the silence that follows a loud busy day.. The person inside waits until they can surface again.. But that person inside knows that this won't last long.. Because the person who carries that little person is strong enough.. Just like the dawn breaks after it has been the darkest, life gets better.. That hope helps put that little person inside to some rest while the outside person gets strength to carry out about in the day!!

Happily ever afters!!

I just wonder, how can someone really ignore someone they love?? I still check on him, his last seen on messenger, seeing him online since he deactivated the last seen on whatsapp.. I hope that in the hours of him being online, he may Atleast type something, whether or not he sends.. I hope he too wants to talk to me but is hesitant like me.. I hope he too misses me, like I miss him.. I hope he too fears the pain n loneliness like I do.. I hope he too is going through the same physical emotional trauma I'm going through because I still love him.. It's so difficult to even make myself understand.. I'm still hanging on a hope.. I still hope he comes n pulls me into a hug n we make this work once again.. Time n time again I've been proved wrong, time n time again I've gone through this agony cycle.. But I still can't make myself break it.. Entire day I portray a strong woman, but in this lonely hours, I'm a vulnerable person who needs assurance n comfort.. I stay up every night for a long time, just hoping he'll msg n I don't miss it.. I see him online on whatsapp n messenger, hoping a msg comes my way.. I feel so ashamed, I feel like a fool.. I just don't wanna learn my lesson.. This idiot heart still hopes for a happily ever after!!!

This too is marriage!!

I love you just as much as I loved you then..
But I don't need you as much as I needed you then!!

I'll be there for you whenever you need me..
But you'll not be the one I need whenever I'm in trouble!!!

I'll tell you everything that concerns me..
But you'll not be the one that I share my excitement and joy or my sorrows and pain with!!

I promise you my respect and loyalty..
But not the kind of adoration and awe I had!!!

I'll hold your hand in difficult times, help you out in your difficulty and help you smile when low..
But not cause I love you the same, but since you were my world once upon a time!!

I will be your family when you need one..
But you'll not be considered as my family in my heart!!

Yes, we are a couple for the world, maybe a happy one at that..
But we stay two individuals under the pretence and will stay so!!

What do women want?

What do women want?? A complicated question that people are direly trying to figure.. Let's see:

1. A woman wants to feel appreciated (most important)

2. A woman wants to feel loved. (just as important as #1)

3. A woman wants to feel attractive (Yup, say it more, we love an honest praise)

4. A woman wants to feel supported (yes, no matter how strong we portray ourselves)

5. A woman likes to know that she's a reason of happiness and pride for the one's she loves!!

6. A woman likes surprises and to surprise!! (don't you ever foil her plan)

7. A woman likes to make her own decision and be a part of yours too..

8. A woman wants to be encouraged when things are overwhelming.. Just "it's OK, you can do it" gives her the strength to move mountains..

9. A woman doesn't *emphasis on doesn't * like to be called nagging, irritating OR controlling and definitely not a "cry baby "!!!! Yes, there are times we are low and it's the hormones.. Don't make it worse!!

10. Lastly, yet not the least, A woman wants to eat everything that makes her lips smack but without them piling on her hips!!!

Not an exhaustive list, just a glimpse of what we want!!!

A little examples of what we want;

I guess we women want our guy to just hug us from behind when we least expect it, it makes us feel loved..

A small peck on the forehead, again shows love..

Pulling us closer to themselves in front of people which shows love, pride and admiration..

Her guy to know that she's actually going through that time of the month so try to be extra nice and thoughtful..

To share the load in house and in emotion..

The date

She had convinced herself it's just another day.. Live the routine, end the day... But the nudge in the heart grew stronger when the clock etched closer to 12.. It was her anniversary.. She reminded herself to keep her feelings in check.. She knew all the she would get is "happy anniversary " or a long post on social media.. She reminded herself that it's only words and few wishes, rest of the day stays the same..

But when the date approached, she felt a lump in her throat.. She felt the fear of loneliness creeping inside her.. He was physically away but now, even mentally he was distant.. She longed for him, his presence and love.. But she knew better, it's nothing special.. The feelings effed away ages ago.. Staying together seemed just a way to please the world.. She reminded herself that the cold she felt was not so much because of the winters and much as it is due to loneliness.. She reminded herself that her fruitless efforts to rekindle the flame called love has been nipped in the bud..

She reminded herself this day comes annually.. All she needs to do is work extra hard to let this day pass.. Loneliness has been a friend who just needs to be accepted..