What you see need not be the truth,
What you hear may not be the complete facts...
Just because people say "believe it if you see with your own eyes or hear it with your own ears",
It may not be apt for every situation!!
There's always a scope of justification and explanation!!!
A woman waits and waits, but everytime she waits, she loves you a little less.. Eventually she will stop loving you and you'll lose the one that could make your life amazing!! If you don't want that to happen, the right time to act is now!! Women are not that complicated, she just needs the right one!!
Context: a deep conversation with my bro!!
A lesson that every person needs to know!!!
In this times when we are trying to raise a non gender stereotype conformist generation, ensuring my kid sees the same environment at home makes me a rebel.. I don't want to raise my son seeing women in the kitchen and men in the living room.. I want to raise my son showing him parents who work inside the house as well as outside.. That makes me a Rebel..
I believe in Feminism which believes that men and women are equal.. So I don't agree with the notion of women waking up with the sun and doing household chores while the men sleeps and gets rest.. In this times when both genders are working, it's normal for a woman to be as tired as a man and needs rest like a man too.. So if I refuse to wake early since I've been up all night with the kid and refusing to prepare an elaborate breakfast and instead settling for something easy to cook, it makes me a Rebel..
I have a voice that doesn't shy from calling out on people's shit on their face.. Being strongly opinionated and rational breaks the stereotype of an obedient, submissive nature of women.. That makes me a Rebel..
I have an identity and I'm proud of mine.. I never had to introduce myself as someone's daughter or wife.. That is something that is against the law of the orthodox society.. That makes me a Rebel..
Breaking the shackles of orthodox beliefs isn't an easy job.. Everyone says they are progressive and wants a modern world for the next generation.. But when it comes to reality, people want to conform themselves to the patterns of the society.. It's easier to conform than change.. And people like me who refuses to conform are rebels, we've got labels, we're called names, we've been disowned, punished..
Nonetheless, I am a rebel and I'm proud of being one.. I'm not a rebel without a cause.. I have an example to lead for my son.. Nobody else will defend or talk for you.. You've gotta stand up strong against all the people in this world including the ones you love.. Defend what you believe in, even if you're alone.. No matter how painful, one day you will win and you can't be more proud of standing and supporting what's right!!!
Life as a mother is a trip down the memory lane where I, instead of being the naughty person, have to be the mature one.. N these growing up years taught me why did my mom laugh through anger or get angry while laughing!!!
So my kid, just like his mother, is very fascinated by water.. He loves it as long as its not running over his head (again, the same trait as yours truly).. The fellow is found in the bathroom spraying the wall and ceiling with water whenever he gets a chance.. The others don't realize what I do.. The water beads are so mesmerising and having them all over looks so beautiful.. But being on the other side of the table, I'm the one who has to clean up after him.. How can I not be amused and annoyed just at the same time?
The fellow, just like his mother, has a weird habit of sliding down the bed.. What's weird is that both of us slide with our heads sliding first while facing the ceiling.. Midway through the slide, both of us call our moms who rushes to catch us lest we bang our heads down.. Just when our moms turns her back, it's tried again.. I did it over two decades ago, my son does it now.. I slid and screamt then, I rush to frantic screams Now.. I agree, I enjoyed doing that and it's still a fond memory.. But rushing to get my kid up a million times daily gets on the nerves.. How can I not be amused and annoyed at the same time??
I know this fellow is my replica where we both do the same things.. I and my mom keep looking at each other and bursting into laughter seeing him knowing that's exactly what I did back in my time.. I've heard that parenting is a journey where you reprimand the kid for behaving just like you.. I never knew how precise it was until I scolded him for refusing to eat when I too used to be scolded by my mom for the same reason.. And the looks of my mom was sufficient to tell me, "I told you so.. You'll understand when you'll become a mother."
I love my parents to bits, I always have.. But after my son, I realised the only love that's genuine, pure and selfless is the love a mother/parent has for their kids.. After having loved Joshua, I realized that I have never loved my parents as genuinely and as selflessly as I've loved my son.. Similarly, my son who loves me to the core will at some point grow distant and his genuine love will be for the kid..
At that time, if I live long enough, I'll explain him why a parents love is "Agape", a love beyond "Always", a love beyond Nicholas Sparks OR John Green, a love beyond words.. A love that gives a new meaning, a new strength, a new joy, a new hope, a new opportunity and a new beginning..
Or maybe I wouldn't have to tell him, he'll just know, just like his mom!!
A friend had posted on facebook "why does relationship fail? "
I thought hard and deep to reply her
"When you give your everything and yet get nothing back, when you cater to their needs but you don't have your wishes catered to, when you are not allowed to be yourself, follow your passion, when other people are called to get involved when the two could figure out how to work it out, when your core beliefs are altered to please someone, when you need to constantly remind them that you're being neglected and not taken care of, when you realise you've done your best and you're totally drained to do anything more: all of it gradually adds to it and one day you just snap.. When you realise you've got nothing more to offer and you're drained, you walk out."
But then what? The heart still loves, the heart still hurts, the heart still longs, the heart still hopes.. How can you just shake yourself and say, "wake up day dreamer, it's over.. Get a hold on yourself and move on.." What hurts more is that when you snap and when you threaten to walk out, you have a hope that your partner will hear your plea, see your pain and realize that something needs to be fixed and make it work.. But life isn't so easy..
No matter how hard you convince yourself it's over, you really can't bring yourself to accept that truth.. You still can't believe it's an abrupt end to your happily ever after.. People may tell you "whatever happens, happens for the best" but it's so much easier said than done..
It's important to replenish yourself before giving someone yourself.. And then starts the beautiful journey of healing, forgiving and accepting.. Then the heart finds a new found strength.. It's just like a phoenix.. Bursting into flames and beginning again, rising from the ashes..
The heart that was broken finds comfort, finds peace.. Inspite of the frequent meltdowns, the heart seems to learn to be genuinely happy again.. The meltdown frequency reduces and happiness increases.. One day, just like that, you realise that you're happy no matter how painful the journey was.. The broken heart heals, leaving just a few scars to remind itself of what happened!!!
Saying I love you
Is not the words I want to hear from you
It's not that I want you
Not to say, but if you only knew
How easy it would be to show me how you feel
More than words is all you have to do to make it real
Then you wouldn't have to say that you love me
'Cause I'd already know
What would you do if my heart was torn in two
More than words to show you feel
That your love for me is real
What would you say if I took those words away
Then you couldn't make things new
Just by saying I love you
A wonderful song by Extreme!!
We all have learnt that communication can be both verbal and non verbal.. With the advent of technology, the communication is confined to words being exchanged which results in more confusion since the non verbal complementary component is absent.. You don't need words to express yourself if the person with you can read your cues..
My son squeezes my hand when he's scared, I just cuddle him closer.. I know he's scared by the touch and he knows he's safe by the hug.. His genuine smile, his laughter, his concern all shows his extreme love.. His "I love you's" don't match up to the infinite expression of love my kid shows during the day.. He says "love you " when I tell him, but he shows he loves me even when I don't expect him to.. He knows my anger looking at my face, he knows to drive me up there n he also knows to calm me.. All this done by a kid who doesn't speak much..
In short, feelings are not what's put out in words.. It's good to hear it.. But it's even better to feel it.. Because sometimes words don't do justice to the feeling.. If the person feels the love, there's no need for the words..
For a romantic, life revolves around love.. When you find someone you love selflessly and you are loved back in the same manner, life is perfect and worth living.. Can't be more thankful for this little guy who has taught me the meaning of love without even having to use words!!
3am is said to be the time when magic happens.. Writers write, musicians compose, wise men get to work..
It's that ungodly hour when the whole world sleeps but the restless minds (and hearts) toss and turn.. When some seldom noise of a heavy vehicle interupts the eerie silence.. When the heavy heart begins to over analyse and burdens itself.. It's that time when the muffled cries explodes into screams.. It's the hour when the deepest fears surfaces.. It's the hour when you are with yourself and you cannot pretend any more.. It's the hour you're yourself, unmasked, vulnerable, exposed, weak, a person who dreads the dawn..
Yet again the sun rises and the person inside is put to rest.. The mask is adorned, the smile is pasted, the routines are done and life goes on.. The person inside waits for the stillness and quietness, the loneliness and the silence that follows a loud busy day.. The person inside waits until they can surface again.. But that person inside knows that this won't last long.. Because the person who carries that little person is strong enough.. Just like the dawn breaks after it has been the darkest, life gets better.. That hope helps put that little person inside to some rest while the outside person gets strength to carry out about in the day!!
