Friday, 27 December 2019
Random thoughts_44
Monday, 23 December 2019
Social Animal
Wednesday, 18 December 2019
I'm tired!!
Sunday, 15 December 2019
Merry Christmas
Random thoughts_43
Saturday, 7 December 2019
Random thoughts_42
#Me too!!
Wednesday, 4 December 2019
Random thoughts_41
Saturday, 30 November 2019
Random thoughts_40
Monday, 25 November 2019
Thursday, 7 November 2019
Parenting 101
Teach them about right and wrong!!
Raise them with values, principles and morals!!
And let them be!!
They are entrusted to us to help them face the world.. Trust them that they will not falter or go awry.. But if they choose to differ from your views, let them be.. They are an individual just like you and me.. They too have their views and opinions.. And as they grow you realize that its not necessary what you preach is what they believe but trust them that you've raised them well enough to be able to have a strong opinion!!
Make them ready for the world!! Raise them strong and independent!! Raise them bold enough to form a decision and stay strong at that!! And definitely, hear opinions from all but decide on the basis of careful analysis!!
Pain deserves to be felt!!
Sometimes even beauty is seen in the absence of light!!
Sometimes the unbearable pain that an oyster or a butterfly undergoes is what we go through in our life to have a beautiful output!!
Sometimes people get stronger only when they are pushed through any challenge!!
Sometimes the pain you're enduring are the chisels and hammers that's sculpting you!!
You're David inside that marble;
But you need breaking, you need the pain to become a marvel!!
Sometimes there isn't an out. Sometimes endurance is the only way..
To grind your teeth and get through it :
To be a masterpiece of life's making!!
Just like you need rains to see a rainbow up in the Sky, you need some challenges to help you see that shine in you..
You're so much stronger than what you realize.. If walking through fire is what it takes to shine then waltz through it and shine bright!!
Edit and input: https://instagram.com/patnaaikji?igshid=1hdf24bpcu53o
Random thoughts_38
Do what you really wish to do, but the moment you've to hide it from the world, you know its wrong!!
Clear conscience = happy life
Choose to be happy but doing no wrong!!
Thursday, 24 October 2019
Random thoughts_37
We are all goodies in our own stories and baddies in many others..
Maturity and growth comes when you see that negative traits in you, take up the responsibility of improving yourself and being a better person!!
Random thoughts_36
There are happy tears and then there are painful tears..
And days like today, there's painful joys where the joy of seeing your tiny bird spread its wings to fly exceeds the pain of long separation period!!
#TearfulGoodbyes@Airports!!
Random thoughts_35
The tightest hugs and the held back tears are between a father and daughter bidding each other a goodbye!!
#AirportScenes
Wednesday, 16 October 2019
Random thoughts_34
Life brings you at a juncture when you don't find time for yourself, your passions!!!
That exactly is the time you should fervously chase them!!
Monday, 7 October 2019
Random thoughts_33
When we count a bundle of notes, when the count isn't 100, we verify the count again but when its 100 in the first go, we assume its correct.. Why can't it be that we could be wrong Even in that case?
#At Work thoughts
Wednesday, 2 October 2019
Faith can move mountains!!
During our times of troubles, the first thing to break and the last thing to hold on to is "Our Faith!"
I had a deep conversation with a colleague-not-yet-friend and a friend last evening regarding faith and I realized how much I had lost my belief in God.. It was a simple gesture of a cross on my neck, a habit I had from childhood, a small little cross on me that gave me hope and comfort.. Just like scriptures says "tie it to your arms and neck", this little piece was beyond a jewelry.. It was symbolic to my faith, it was symbolic to the strength I received!!
I've always been proud of my God's presence and strength in my life, I've been blessed beyond measures!! But the first thing I lost during my turmoil was my faith.. I remembered Job but practicality and logic began taking the upper hand suppressing that light of faith!! I questioned the existence of God to push me through such troubles that I couldn't get out of.. I felt like I was drowning in a bottom less quicksand with nothing to hold on to!! I felt despair about my life!! And then I felt that calmness, that comfort, that solitude!! He was very much in my life!! He was the one holding on to me when I was panicky and fidgety in that quicksand!! As a famous story goes regarding the "Footprints in the sand", He carries me through troubles. Though at times it feels hopeless, He sure is there with me!!
Yesterday during my conversation, I realized that though my logic has pushed me to the verge of being an agnostic, there was a believer and that belief radiates through my being!! Yes, I still doubt things at times, but it phases out when I remember my God who can work wonders!! I believe what a new found accomplise just texted me, "Everything happens for a reason!" My underdeveloped brains may not comprehend that vast complexity of the Divine plans.. But I sure trust Him to lead me on and to carry me through my moments of weakness.. He's there always, as a friend, as parents, as a random person who mysteriously helps you!! I've felt His presence and His strength!! And putting a cross back on my chain, it feels like a proclamation of my faith, of the challenge I give life "Bring it on buddy, I've got a friend And He will help me face you!"
Tuesday, 24 September 2019
Friday, 20 September 2019
Random thoughts_31
As Naina said in YJHD
"We definitely miss a lot of things in life, but we should learn to relish the moment and feelings we experience over chasing everything and enjoying nothing"
#EarlyMorningVibes
Thursday, 19 September 2019
Wednesday, 18 September 2019
Moving on!!!
We end up planning the entire life time with that person, seeing the dreams of having a future with them.. After having spent a considerable amount in a relationship, you get accustomed to them.. No matter how painfully a relationship ends, it has its good memories and moments; you can never erase them!! As the one that I loved told me "Its not the goodbyes that hurts, its the flashbacks that follows!"
Everyday you remember them, long for them, forget them, replace them.. But end of day, you miss them!! Moving on is when you remember them lesser than before, need them lesser than before and miss them much much lesser than before!!! Its a journey that gets easier with time.. You can never forget or hate a person no matter how much they hurt you when you've genuinely loved them!! But their absence gets bearable with time!!
Its not easy, its not immediate!! Its a slow and gradual process.. Things reminds you of them, songs or instances remind you of them, some people remind you of them!! No matter how much you convince yourself, you end up remembering them!! You may have gone days without their topic or missing them but it all comes back like an avalanche!!
Lonely nights aren't a friend of the healing heart!! Its a painful time frame when all you wish is things to have been different, for that person to have been with you!! Whether you dump or have been dumped, the pain is real and is here to stay!! You may hate them all you want, you may remember them for all the pain they caused you.. But deep inside you wished they were the person you felt they were.. You wish you had the life you imagined!! You wish you would be with them expressing your feelings rather than penning it down..
Intellectually speaking you know its just a matter of time.. But the real quesion is "How much time before you learn to live without them... before you feel complete without them... before that person isn't the one you want to share your excitement or your pain with"... Until one day you find yourself asserting to yourself "Yes, its a beautiful tomorrow coming.. There's a complete healing on that horizon!! You just need to focus on that, the dawn is just arriving!!"
Someday, everything will make perfect sense. So for now, laugh at the confusion, smile through the tears, be strong and keep reminding yourself that everything happens for a reason.”
— John Mayer
Contribution by angelicones.blogspot.com
Monday, 16 September 2019
Saturday, 14 September 2019
Random thoughts_28
Memories are those flashbacks of time that makes us smile, sad or just wanna experience it once again!!
I'm not OK!!
We are all trained to have our feelings and pains under wraps!! We are all taught by elders and by life that nobody cares if you're upset,if you're in pain, if you're going through troubles!! We are taught never to show our vulnerability!! We are taught to be brave no matter how miserable things are!!
Yes, hard truth of life : people don't really care how you feel!! But the reality is that, "not all people really care how you feel"... There's always someone or few people who genuinely cares for you.. There are some go to people that you know you could just drop a msg or dial them when you feel low.. There are people who can talk you through your worries, make you laugh, distract you or maybe, just hear you!!
We are humans, we have complex feelings..
Everyday is not going to be a happy day, everyday is not going to be good.. All of us have good days and bad, all of us have mood swings, its part of nature.. Its very brave to be putting on a smile when things are crashing.. But its braver to be able to finally open up about how you really feel!! You don't need to open up to the entire world, but you gotta find that bunch of people that can help you out!!
Yes, I'm not OK!! Yes, I'm having a troubled time!! Yes, I wanna crash!! But I have my support systems!! And the best Part of this phase is that I have got a bunch of people I feel connected with!! I've got people whom I can finally be honest n say, I'm feeling upset and I wish to talk.. And they do talk and get me out!!
You don't need to be brave at all times, you are strong, you are amazing.. But you're just a fellow human!! When you feel low, when you're troubled, when you're overwhelmed remember, there's someone or few people always there for you!! You're not alone!!
The day we drill in the world the idea that "its OK to not be OK" more people will finally open up their true feelings and will be at peace in life!! I know how important these people are in my life, so if you're troubled, alone or just wanna talk, you've got me!!! Its OK to not be OK!!
Wednesday, 11 September 2019
Random thoughts_27
Life seems beautiful for another person.. But knowing them makes you realize their pain n problems!!
No wonder people choose their own problems over someone else's!!
Wednesday, 4 September 2019
Monday, 2 September 2019
Letter to the only one I ever loved!!
To my dearest dear,
Thats how all my letters all these years to you were addressed.. I am old school, i believe in the magic of letters and i dropped you one here and there through these nine years of being together!!
The second last one i guess was 8 months ago when I wrote you this promise on the occasion of our 8 years of being together
"Before the day ends, 8 years ago you proposed a 19 year old for marriage.. I was so smitten by you, i agreed.. When the practical part of marriage came, I faltered.. Things brought us apart.. But somehow somewhere inside me that 19 year old lives which still believes in you, still sees magic in you, still blushes talking about you, still crazily loves you.. Things aren't good but I believe we can be better.. No matter how many time I say I don't love you, I can't convince myself to stop loving you.. I still do, have always done and I guess I'll still do.. Time, circumstances and reactions have brought us apart.. Choosing you was my choice just as loving you was.. There is a reason we came together and that I don't believe is only to create this small life.. We have a bigger purpose together and we need to be together.. Life will have more ups and downs.. Today I make a promise to you and to myself, never again will I ever speak of separation from you.. No matter how difficult, we will make it work.. If need arises, we will not talk for a day.. But no night shall we sleep separate, no fight shall make us far.. This is my pledge for the year to come, to try making our marriage better and to find that love which we have forgotten.. I love you..
I've spoken my heart out after a long time.. Feels nice.. I miss my best friend.. Can I have him back as my new year gift?"
You were courteous enough to say "Thank you"
6 days later, after our 6th wedding anniversary I sent you the following which for me was my last letter so far!!
"After a lot of deliberation I'm typing this to you..
I feel uncared for, unloved and totally blocked out.. I feel I'm remembered only when you have some need.. I'm not your priority and nor is Joshua.. We don't have any love shared, just obligation.. You asked me why I'm not feeling well, it's bcz I feel unwanted.. I feel I'm taken for granted.. I feel like a robot having to do the chores without anything received in return.. I believe we can make our marriage work provided you're ready to work on it too.. Just like I have put Joe and you as my priority, I want to be yous too.. Let me know if you can do that.. If not, then plz don't bother me with things you need.. If I can't be importance for you, I'm sorry by can't make you my importance too.."
This was un responded to just like all the "I love you's" I sent you!
Then after our fights when you totally cut contact with me for a whole month and you posted some science formula and my favorite song on Facebook as a birthday wish I replied this to you "I hope you found happiness with all these likes and comments.. Your entire reason of this post is to garner likes and portray yourself as a desirable person.. How come you love me and yet haven't had a talk with me in a month? How come I have no idea about your whereabouts?? How come your last seen is hidden?? How come you don't feel the urge to see your son in the last one month, nor even speak to him?? How come we are neglected?? How come your dad tell me that we're getting divorced when you land back when at the same time you're posting "love you " on facebook?? How come you and your dad raise your hands on me when you claim n exaggerate your love?? How come you turn a beast in the house and portray me as crazy for the world?? How come you love me but facebook friends see it on the wall more than I ever realize off screen? How come I'm lonely, crying and battling depression when I have someone to love me? If you have no feelings in real life, when you don't want me or Joshua, why are you posting such false shit on facebook?? If you had any feelings, you'd have realized you've not seen Joshua in a month, your priority would have been better.. Don't know what you trying to prove but if it's to play once more with my emotions, I want you to understand that I'm not falling for this trick again.. I know you don't love me, I know the post is only because you're very good with words. But I'm not falling for it anymore.. I'm sure you've got lots of people impressed reading about your vast love for me.. These eight years of being with you taught me the true nature of you.. I'm an idiot who didn't see this coming.. It's the same history, repeating eight years later.. Yes, I'm damaged, yes I'm depressed, yes I'm crying.. But I'm taking back your power of making me cry.. I'm taking back your power of playing with my emotions.. I'm taking back your power of twisting my moods.. I'm taking back my heart and my love.. You don't deserve it"
Again back to no contact, so much so that first time in eight years I never knew you're coming back from ship.. Then all that drama at home and Reena's wedding where you casually asked me for "casual sex".. I'm your wife not a prostitute though thats what you call me!! Have been calling me so for hugging a friend of yours ages before you even were remotely connected to me!!
Not that we had an exceptional sex life, since you'd love to have dirty linen washed in public you should be prepared for your secrets to see the light of day too!! Marital rape isn't an offense and I can't put you away for that!! I meant it when I said I feel raped, I feel touched and used without my permission.. You spoilt the sanctity of marriage and I fulfilled my obligation as your wife until the day you began telling the count of our intimacy to achen and my cousins!!
The day you hit me first time four years ago, had I mustered courage to walk to a police station, my kids life wouldn't be so ruined.. Thanks to you, you're playing an amazing game playing him against me.. If you can't live with me, why can't you let me leave?? You call me characterless drunkard maniac then why don't you cut your ties with me?? You ruined my repute, you ruined my sanctity!! You tell people I was suicidal but you never told how much in these few years I've evolved and grown over it!! I needed you once upon a time, now I don't.. Honest truth is, I fear for my life.. I fear you may kill me!! And its a genuine fear!!
You recorded every private conversation of ours, every time I spoke my heart out you had it on tape, you filed my msgs as proof, you hacked my phone and recorded all my conversation and twisted it to match your story, you got me agitated and react to you and recorded it while you stayed calm.. You made false bruises on you to claim I've hit you when I was the one who went to school in a disheveled state and all these years I never had the presence of mind to have anything documented against you!!
Today, this is an open letter to the world knowing I can't trust you anymore.. I need you to know that your absence is thrilling my life.. I forgot what being happy was until I decided for once that I'm never coming back to you.. This last month was my time of judgment whether to give you another chance because I respect the person who mediated for you.. Like all previous occasion, I agreed to let it slide once more.. But you never have an iota of change in you..
Today I'm glad to say that I made the right choice of walking out.. You're a parasite, sucked my life these years.. You're a classic narcissist.. You need people to support your grandiose!! You can't have anyone disagreeing to you bcz if anyone does so, you've got your brigade pulling them down.. I was just a popular happy "rich" person who fell into your description of an arm candy.. You wanted to get limelight of my popularity while damaging my personality.. Shutting out every tiny joy of my life including reading, listening to music, watching friends, writing a diary you tried to control me.. Worked like a charm all these years!! Not anymore.. I've realized you never loved me nor do you love my son.. You can never love anyone besides yourself.. And I'm sorry for you.. You used me and now you're using a tiny tot for your dirty plans!!
This day when we complete our 80th month as husband and wife, I wish you peace and recovery.. I know a narc can never change only the victim changes.. But I am done being played.. I wrote this last letter to you so that you know straight from me that its over between us!! I have had my name ruined enough.. I wish you maturity but age won't bring it for sure.. I hope you held your repute ruining mine and your flying monkeys did an amazing job spreading it.. Thanks to you, I got a support group for myself, people that I learnt I can count on!! You may go ahead and say more stories and publish your proofs.. I know to my conscience, I did my everything for this marriage and I don't regret walking away.. Choosing you at 19 was definitely a mistake but not walking away finally would be a bigger one!!
I wish and pray that someday you'll realise that blaming the world for your shortcomings won't get you anywhere.. Please grow balls and own up for your mistake.. When you begin to take up the onus of your actions, you can change and grow!!
With this, I wish thee well.. I loved you sincerely and with great happiness I wish to inform you that I don't anymore!! You still are a memory, we shared nearly a decade together.. I'm good with dates so Feb '20 would be a decade of friendship.. Hoping to have a cordial friendly relationship with you after separation was my idea of a mature separation and you've ruined it beyond repair already!! Anyway, with you, nothing can be normal.. You're a manipulative jerk whose only concern is the few grams of gold my kid was gifted and the only gold I took from there.. I never asked for anything back from what was given to you!! And you stoop to such a level of being a money minded person.. I really regret loving you and I regret the decade I lost for you.. If I could, I'd love to turn back time n walk out when I first saw you.. I'd lose out my son which would be a bad deal but definitely I wouldn't have had a child being played by his biological father!!
Wishing you well once again,
Loved you once, regretting it forever!!
Your EX wife,
PS. I agree with you on this one, your name really is a horrible one.. You're actually as disgusting as what you claim your name stands for.. I wonder how your parents knew it 35 years ago.. I hope to have it off my name asap..
This letter is to underline a few facts
1. I will not commit suicide.. I fear for my life.. This letter is out in the open for someone to vouch for me at the unfortunate circumstance of my untimely death
2. I don't have the time to go about calling and informing people my plight like the other person but if someone goes through my blogs, they should know my version too before forming an opinion about me!!
3. I've got many proofs against me and a private letter may be misconstrued and hence its out in the open unless this too is hacked and can be misused!!
Sunday, 1 September 2019
Random thoughts_24
Stand for what you believe is right!!
Thats where the change begins!!
Be the change rather than hoping for one!!
Saturday, 31 August 2019
Random thoughts_23
There's a fine difference between being selfish and showing self love!!
Loving yourself "only" is selfishness..
Loving yourself "also" is self love..
Thursday, 29 August 2019
The flicker of HOPE
As someone rightly said, "Life is not a wish granting factory".
Life isn't predictable, sometimes what happens in our life would be things we couldn't ever envision happening in anyone's lives.. There may be things that really brings us down or may cheer us up..
Life is a parcel, with its goods and bads..
We cannot choose to only have the good and ignore the bad.. But what we can do is accept the reality and live on!!
My dad keeps telling, theres a descent to every ascent, but there's also an ascent to every descent!! We always think in our darkest times that life has been unfair to us, but never once in our happiest time do we say that we have received beyond our worth!!
There's always a better tomorrow, the happiness that we deserve.. Its just a turn away.. All we need to do is to keep that brave face, that smile and hope alive till we reach that turning!!
As is said in the book Everything is fucked, "being heroic is
the ability to conjure hope where there is none. To strike a match to light up
the void. To show us a possibility for a better world—not a better world we
want to exist, but a better world we didn’t know could exist. To take a
situation where everything seems to be absolutely fucked and still somehow
make it good."
All it takes is to be that hero in your own lives and to spread your heroism to others!!
Wednesday, 28 August 2019
Monday, 26 August 2019
Random thoughts_19
Sometimes all you can do is accept the past, remember the good memories, forget the bitter ones and move on!!!
Random thoughts_18
The people that pull you down tries to keep you down by going to any extent!!
Real victory is when you can move on and learn to let immaterial things pass by!!!
Random thoughts_17
You may get upset or you may get up and set things right!!
The latter is thrilling!!
#Monday motivation
Sunday, 25 August 2019
Ramdom thoughts_16
If you wanna pass on a story, know it first!! Carrying rumors and spreading it won't benefit anyone.. And people who have forgotten what being mature or grown up is, I'm sorry, age will not help you learn.. I wish you peace and I hope tarnishing others helps you find it, else the entire thing just got pointless!!
Blaming the world but not accepting your flaws is the sign of immaturity!! Hope someday you grow up!
Peace out!! #controllinganoutburstofemotion
Random thoughts_15
When and if you hear something about someone, either keep it to yourself or verify before talking..
Rumour spreads faster than wildfire because of the inquisitive nature of humans to knows what's happening in someone else's life!!
Saturday, 24 August 2019
Random thoughts_14
Some people are a craze, some people are a blessing, some people are lessons, some people are guides, some people are friends and few people means life!!
And all of them together makes life colorful and bright 😊
Friday, 16 August 2019
Random thoughts _13
Mistakes maketh a man, because man aint no God!!.
Random quote coined by sister at 2am conversation!!!
Thursday, 8 August 2019
Positivity
When things go wrong, as they sometimes will,
When the road you're trudging seems all uphill,
When the funds are low and the debts are high,
And you want to smile, but you have to sigh,
When care is pressing you down a bit-
Rest if you must, but don't you quit.
Life is queer with its twists and turns,
As every one of us sometimes learns,
And many a fellow turns about
When he might have won had he stuck it out.
Don't give up though the pace seems slow -
You may succeed with another blow.
Often the goal is nearer than
It seems to a faint and faltering man;
Often the struggler has given up
When he might have captured the victor's cup;
And he learned too late when the night came down,
How close he was to the golden crown.
Success is failure turned inside out -
The silver tint in the clouds of doubt,
And you never can tell how close you are,
It might be near when it seems afar;
So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit -
It's when things seem worst that you must not quit
A beautiful poem by John Greenleaf Whitier!! When you're low such motivators push you up!! With great difficulty you push yourself out and fill yourself with more positivity..
Similarly when you're at the peak of positivity and confidence, something shakes you up.. It may be few words of anger from someone close, it may be a situation, it maybe an ignorance of some person.. There's nothing great needed to shatter someone's confidence.. The slip from that peak is lower than what you began at the first place.. Then you think there's no way to get out of it ever!!
Dwelling on it will only cause more pain and worries.. Finding your positivity amidst it is a Herculean task.. Its not only difficult but also very essential to pick yourself from that pit.. All you need is a determined mindset that you're not gonna let anything break you or your happiness.. When you've got the right support from the right people, when your focus is on keeping your happiness, you tend to find a way out.. The best way to get out of the negativity is getting yourself off the situation by working a way out of it!!!
Always remember, there's a rainbow after the rains.. Even if a situation seems bleak, there's many more reason to be happy.. All it takes is a look in the right direction.. After all, the greatest wizard Albus Dumbeldore has taught us that "Happiness can be found even in the darkest places, if only one remembers to turn on the light!"
Tuesday, 6 August 2019
Random thoughts _11
Some people make noise to make their point known!!
Some people keep calm to let their point across!!
If a prophet can hear God in calmness, so will people be proved right in time!!
The true test of a persons real nature is definitely time!
Sunday, 4 August 2019
Random thoughts_10
Things that can't be undone :
A word after its spoken
A heart after its broken
An arrow/bullet after its released
A turn on the road after its missed!!!
Friday, 2 August 2019
Random thoughts_9
The nature of a person is left for time to unearth!!!
After all, you can only fool some of the people all of the time and all of the people some of the time!!
The wise person will hold his peace n let time answer! It's not mature to throw stones at barking dogs!
#inner peace
Sunday, 28 July 2019
Random thoughts _8
You know you've been depressed when you've generally exhausted a passbook in two years but you've exhausted the second one in the last six months due to resorting to retail therapy!!!
#Filing ITR scenes
Random thoughts _7
Success of shows like big boss and it's adaptation in various languages goes to prove how inclined a human mind is to bother what's going on in someone else's house!!!
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