From fidato to inaffiadable

You became my confidante over time, building trust bit by bit, stepping right in when I needed you the most.. You stepped in when my friends walked out.. You stepped in when I was at my lowest.. You became my trust in life.. You became my best friend.. You became my "Fidato"

Now I keep questioning how true all that was.. I keep asking why is it that I'm remembered only when you need something.. I question my blindness and naiveté towards life.. I question how innocently I believed the world to be only black and white not knowing about the greys.. I question how I couldn't see that the world doesn't treat you for how you treat the world..

You've make me question my choices.. You've made me question ME.. Now it's time for me to be lonely, looking at the life ahead without a flicker of the light of hope.. I wonder how the one I felt helped me out of my perceived darkness could push me  into this darkness called life..

I felt I found my happy place but just realised it was all in my head!!

Listen, at least once!!

There is someone we all know about, someone who has changed drastically, someone who seems a lot different than before, someone you feel has lost their spark.. You ask them what's wrong and they say it's just routine or exhaustion.. Please give them a nudge, they may have a lot to talk but just can't do it..

Yes, you see them smile, you see them talk, you feel everything is normal but something feels amiss.. They are faking it.. That smile is a fake, that normalcy is fake, that's all a pretence to feel one in the crowd.. They are searching for someone who they can share their burden with, someone to just unload their pain.. But still, inspite of someone coming forward to talk, they shut themselves up.. You think it's such a Paradox, how can someone who wants to talk not do so when someone offers to hear..

But thats how paradoxical Depression makes you behave..It breeds on your negative memories, conquering your conciousness, depriving you of clarity and leaving you alinged with an opaque feeling.. It's like the dementors of Harry Potter series, sucking out your good thoughts.. 

This opaque feeling builds on your thoughts 

exponentially paralysing your thought process resulting into a state of constant unsettlement.. You know it's in your head but you can't get it out.. It shuts you off from the world, makes you feel like a robot doing chores and duties.. You feel numb, lifeless, monotonous.. Gradually making you your own enemy.. 

Next time you see someone having changed drastically, try to talk to them.. In a fast paced life, sparing a few minutes to listen is the biggest gift we can give.. Going for therapy is not something that everyone can do.. But talking to a friend is possible.. They may be rude, turn you down or disown your words. Stick around, they will surely open up..  We can be real friends in their time of despair.. Hear them, nudge them and give them the comfort they require to share their hearts..

Let us decide to be there for someone we know who needs us. Let us phase this monster out.. Let us get the genuine happiness back in the life of our friend.. Let us be a friend before they conspire against themselves!!!

Blog by "thegreatzero" (presently "https://angelicones.blogspot.com/") (Rajakumar Thevar)and "phoenixrisingfromtheash.blogspot.com" (BB)

Maa ka haath ka khaana

 Today while making pasta for my son, seeing his excitement and impatience checking on the progress of the pasta cooking,  it struck me.. Inspite of his love for this dish, when offered similar looking Alfredo sauce pasta (white pasta), he tasted n spat it out at various occasions!!! When in Italy, he was the only one who didn't enjoy/eat pasta when pasta was arranged for the entire group owing to his birthday.. The entire crew from Kerala enjoyed it inspite of being reluctant to try a foreign cuisine whereas the chief guest of the day satisfied himself with the cheese on the pizza instead!! Why?? Pasta being an Italian dish, had the authentic tasting thing there!! It was delicious, to put it in simple terms.. My three year old has helped solve a complicated thought in my head..

 My mummy (MIL)  is an amazing cook, nobody can beat that.. But still, certain dishes I love when it's cooked by my mom.. Not because of the taste, but familiarity.. I have grown up having certain dishes in a certain manner.. That's a signature style of my mom or dad.. If someone else makes the same dish, it'll not taste the same.. I'd prefer the taste I've had all my life over something new..

This simple logic was unearthed by my tiny tot who hasn't even begun talking clear sentences.. He has had pasta made by me much more times than the outside food.. I boil it soft since he's lazy to chew, replace maida with wheat flour, authentic maida pasta with semolina pasta, not adding veggies or chicken since he hates it and on and on..  I make Palak paneer with extra cream because it masks the flavour of spinach since the kid refuses it and that's a hit with him!! In brief, it's custom made for my son, because I know his choices, worry about his health and want to see the satisfaction in his face at the end of the meal..

 That's what all our mothers have been doing for us.. We don't worry whether or not the food retains the authentic taste because we have a more important concern.. Next time when you boast about how amazing cook your mom is, don't forget to acknowledge the preference she's given to your choice!!

Taking her place back in his life

Momspresso Check out this interesting short story "Taking her place back in his life!!" by beena subin. Read Here: https://www.momspresso.com/parenting/woman-s-tale/story/taking-her-place-back-in-his-life

• L
 
• ROMANCE
 
• THRILLER
 
• COMEDY
 
• INSPIRATIONAL
 
• DARK
 
• CHALLENGES

TAKING HER PLACE BACK IN HIS LIFE!!

She was sweating and panting, she couldn't believe what she had done.. She has been procrastinating and wondering whether her decision would be right.. She was losing his love, she was losing him.. She knew who has taken her place but he wouldn't say anything to her.. She knew what she had to do.. Finally after the run, she felt good.. She will soon get back to what she was when they fell in love.. She decided to give him the girl that he was head over heels in love with.. It was just the first day towards it!!

When someone gets jealous

Momspresso Check out this interesting short story "When someone gets jealous!!" by beena subin. Read Here: https://www.momspresso.com/parenting/woman-s-tale/story/when-someone-gets-jealous

Dilemma of a mom

Momspresso Check out this interesting short story "Dilemma of a mom!!" by my boy'smom. Read Here: https://www.momspresso.com/parenting/woman-s-tale/story/dilemma-of-a-mom

• ALL
 
• ROMANCE
 
• THRILLER
 
• COMEDY
 
• INSPIRATIONAL
 
• DARK
 
• CHALLENGES

DILEMMA OF A MOM!!

When I stayed home, I felt outdated and wasted. When I am away, I miss having the kid around and tending his needs. When I stayed home, I felt tired doing his chores. When I am away, I am worried if he would have eaten or slept. When I stayed home, I felt I was making my kid dependent  on me. When I am away, I fear he may not need me any further. Whether home or away, end of the day he hugs me and says that he loves me and my fears melt away!!

Seeing clearly

Momspresso Check out this interesting short story "Seeing clearly" by my boy'smom. Read Here: https://www.momspresso.com/parenting/woman-s-tale/story/seeing-clearly

After a long time she could see clearly.. The sunlight didn't bother her.. She didn't have to narrow her eye nor curse the sun.. The day was beautiful, the view was beautiful.. She couldn't believe that she missed all this daily while cursing the sun.. The half hour ride from Home to work seemed a pleasure and refreshing.. All she had to do was to go to the optician and get her sunglasses with power the previous day..

Self Activation mode

Momspresso Check out this interesting short story "Self Activation mode!!" by me. Read Here: https://www.momspresso.com/parenting/woman-s-tale/story/self-activation-mode

The toilet realised it's dirty and hence it cleaned itself.. The bathroom realised it has become dirty and washed itself.. The washing machine realised that it was full so washed up the clothes.. The clothes realised it needs to be dried and stretched itself out.. The dried clothes decided to fold themselves and go in to the wardrobe.. The plates realised they were empty and hence cooked up food and later washed themselves and stacked away.. The leftover food judged themselves and kept themselves in the refrigerator or threw themselves away.. Others didn't understand why the woman was tired!!

Choice

Our lives are full of choices : from the time we wake till the time we sleep!! We choose what we want to do, how we want to do, when we want to do.. Happiness too is a choice.. They say, "don't let a minute of pain steal your fifty nine more which you could be happy ".. It's not easy, I know!!  But we can choose.. As the song says "count your blessings, name them one by one.. And it will surprise you what the Lord has done! "

We have pains in life, disappointments, fears but we also have happiness, excitement and love that negates them.. We may feel one area of our life is low, but there are so many areas that's high!! It's just a matter of perception.. We can choose what we want to focus on.. The area that we give more importance to, grows to occupy the most important place in our lives.. We can choose to give importance to the many happiness' or the few sadness'..

Easier said than done, a whole hearted effort in the right direction helps reach the goal, not immediately but gradually!!

He hates me!!

The hatred starts every morning when I wake him up from his deep slumber!! He is angry, cranky, irritated and makes it known by the screams, cries, pulling hair, biting and headbutts!! (No, it's not my punishment to him for doing the same things at night when I force him to sleep)..

Then is the next round: brushing!! Oh, he hates me.. I force him to brush, doesn't yield result.. Then I pin him down on my lap, hold his arms and brush his teeth.. That's the next round of crying..

Another reason he hates me is bcz I force feed him at times.. When I feel he's not eaten and might be hungry, I try to force him to eat.. No, I never succeed.. He always spits it out, cleans his tongue by rubbing it clean and then drink water to clear his mouth.. But his hatred is evident in his eyes and his howls..

Then is changing clothes.. There are days he's a water baby and we fight to get him out of the water.. But on few days I really have to fight to get him out of his clothes and into the shower or tub.. He hates me in either of the situation..

Pulling him back home after an hour with his friend or at the park is his biggest anger against me, after the anger of putting his toys away after he scatters it around the house..

The other reason he gets angry is because I don't give him cake, pizza or juice when he sees it on TV, when I put the TV off when it's way late into the night and he still wants to watch TV, locking the refrigerator to stop him from taking chocolates, eggs or juice, not opening the showcase to take out things from inside, the list is too long and new things gets added daily..

But do I stop doing things that makes him hate me?? Hell, no.. I can't.. Because I love him.. Some day he will realise that it's my love for him that made him hate me, but at that time he will have a kid who hates him for the same reason.. Because in this three years I realized why my dad did these things for me when I hated him too much and made so much of a fuss and cry during the early years of my life!!

Revital H

I recently came across this advert on TV showing Sonali Bendre trying to fit in time for doing things like drinking juice or having salads or going for a walk/run but something comes up and she can't do it.. That's what all of us women do.. The fact that Karena Kapoor shed her oodles of pregnancy weight gained within a year of her son's birth and she's back to looking fab versus me who gained marginal during my pregnancy but gained up and still piling up weight three years after the kiddo being born and blaming pregnancy for my looks shows what difference it makes by giving importance to yourself too..

I recently saw a fact where women hardly spend a few minutes to less than  an hour a week for their personal grooming (For men who complain about women spending hours getting ready, please take note).. Why do we take ourselves for granted?? Why is it that the kiddo and husband's needs are put before yours?? Why do you feel that you're not worth being considered important??

A woman is the wheel that spins the family.. If the man is the head of the family, the woman is the spine.. If she's not strong, if she isn't happy, she can't keep the family going.. So for peace and happiness in the family, you need to find it in yourself.. So ladies, take time for yourself, pursue your hobby, read a book, go for a jog or walk, meet friends, dance, do anything that pleases you.. Don't worry, the world won't crumble just because you're relaxing.. Because a happier you is a happier family!!

Mom's magic

When the things strewn around the house finds its way back to where it belongs, that's magic!! When yummy food appears on the table even before you realise you're hungry, it's magic!! When a simple hug and a kiss heals your pain whether physical or emotional, that's magic!! When your dirty clothes is washed, dried, folded and magically appears in your wardrobe, it's magic!!  And this magic has a name, we call her "MOM"!!!

She's the one you know you can count on to always have your back no matter how old your are or what situation you find yourself in.. She's the one who knows your need before you speak it out, she has been doing that since before you even began smiling(thats the first milestone in a baby's life FYI) !! She's the happy place, the comfort zone and the one who turns a mansion into a "HOME"!!

Breaking the cocoon

We all know about the life cycle of a caterpillar, it forms a cocoon and struggles to break free and complete the transformation into a butterfly.. So is life for us..

We are born as helpless newborns who doesn't even know to smile.. The smile is the first milestone in the parental world.. Then from there to recognizing faces, turning to the sides, rolling over, holding the head, crawling, sitting up, holding things and standing then gradually walking to walking without help (then is the tiresome running everywhere and climbing everything, destroying stuffs and making the parents crazy) stages!!

Well, I felt that once the kid begins to walk on his own he becomes independent.. But now with the weaning stage over a couple of months ago, I realise that I'm letting go of a big thing that was a strong bond between us.. It was difficult to get the kiddo to sleep without his habit, but I realized its more difficult for me.. It's as if I'm sending him one more step away from me, a small step towards his independence.. I can never be ready for the day when he won't need me at all and such a day is inevitable but I'm preparing myself to accept it and preparing him for living his life without depending on anyone to manage his daily affairs.

The month his schooling begins is here and another big milestone for the kiddo.. He's just three and his learning routine is beginning now which will continue for couple of decades to come depending on his future aspirations.. He's a caterpillar beginning to break his cocoon while I can only watch him spread his wings and add colour to this world.. My small little boy is now entering a world of his own, and I can only stand and encourage, support and be proud of my little one's achievements, big or small!!

Disclaimer

"Mutual funds are subject to market risks. Please read the offer document carefully before investing." This is the most common disclaimer each of us know.. I guess you may have read it in the same pace they do in the advertisements.. It's the line that appears in fine print in the bottom end which is hardly noticed..

So does life comes with disclaimers!! We don't set out in a certain path expecting sadness or disappointments just like we don't invest in mutual funds expecting a loss.. But that's the risk associated with life.. We all set plans for the day, week, month, year and longer future.. But do we know how long is our future??

The subject of death has been doing rounds in the recent times, popular actress, a messenger of God, a tribal man in Kerala and the countless lives lost in war.. Every death is like a disclaimer that life is giving us "your life comes with a validity, bear it in mind everytime you make plans"..

Let's live to make every day count, everyday worth living!!

An angel with clipped wings!

She was an angel who was taught that she could fly high and reach any heights her heart desired.. She spread her wings and took off reaching one milestone after another.. She found someone along the way, she fell in love with him.. They both took off together.. He seemed to be the one who would nudge her to get ahead.. Soon she couldn't bear the combined weight and she began lagging.. He suggested they put a chain on themselves so they never get separated in the whirlwinds that was coming along.. She gladly accepted it thinking it was a great idea to being together...

Soon their weight with the weight of the chain was getting unbearable.. She couldn't fly anymore.. He clipped off her wings and started criticizing her for not reaching the heights she started out to reach!! She became helpless knowing not what to do..

Then she took a decision in life.. She's an angel with clipped wings and a heavy chain.. But still she is an angel.. She will still live like an angel as long as she breathes and create a heaven for the world around her!!!

Motivation!!

What motivates us to do something??

Fear: Some people say fear motivates but that isn't the kind of motivation that should be there. Fear of failure should not be the motivation but the pride or happiness in success should be the motivating factor..

Encouragement: When someone or few people encourages you, you feel motivated to do better everytime.. When I pondered if I should continue blogging,  it was a friend who told me to continue what I do and that's encouragement for me.. It's the same encouragement that made me enter the field of CA without even knowing what the course is all about.. My teachers felt I had the potential, my friends chose to do it and so did I, didn't realize I'm not fond of it until very late!!

Success: being successful once makes you realize the fruits of your hard work encouraging you to do it again..

For me, my biggest motivation is my toddler.. Because I know that each and every thing I do or say is being watched by a toddler and my action and words are what moulds him.. That motivates me to be a better person, show him how to lead a life.. Even if I fail at times, I can teach him that failure isn't a bad thing but an opportunity to do better..

We need to find some motivation to do or be better, if not for anyone else, at least for our own personal satisfaction!!

Loss

We always associate new year with new beginnings.. However we don't realize that just like beginnings there are ends too!!

The first ever loss I experienced is that of my cousin.. I was too young, probably around 5.. Didn't really comprehend what death is but only understood that it made my mom cry bitterly and later understood that I can never see him or play with him again.. I lost one of my grandmas but I was only 2 then and didn't know anything.. Then came my both my grandpas and I regretted that we hardly have spent time with them..

The death that shook me up the most was my uncle's.. Because I never really realized that there could be such an unexpected death.. Accidents were supposed to affect "others", never expected someone "ours" to be in that place.. It shook all of us to the core, I haven't seen my dad so depressed, never seen an entire family so upset.. That death was and is a nightmare.. I met him just few days back, was sure to meet him again.. Never realized that it may be with him being so still and me crying with regret!! 

Loss isn't just death of near and dear ones.. It's also of those things that occupy an equivalently important place in our lives called pets!! We lost two barely few weeks old white kittens who were born outside our house and we decided to adopt them in the absence of their mom.. They were killed by another cat and we did want to hurt the murderer but couldn't.. We've lost a parrot and dog too (who was stolen by a boy)!! But the death of the goldfishes recently hurt me a lot since they died right in front of my eyes!! I could see them go from swimming around to barely breathing and staying alive to being dead and I could do nothing to help them.. That too one after the other!! I felt so helpless, just like I felt when my parrot fell on the ground and it slowly passed away!! It was like all the childhood pains coming to life!!

I can't help but sympathise with the medical staff.. Just like I felt helpless seeing my pets pass away in front of my eyes while all I could do was just watch and hope that they get better, even the medical staff maybe feeling the same seeing so many people losing life but being helpless.. It's the worst feeling I've experienced!!

The feeling of pain passes, life still goes on.. But that pain is easily triggered by a random scene or a thought of something that takes you back.. Loss is only accepted and we move on, it never helps heal the wound and recover!!

New Year resolutions!!

Every year we make certain resolutions and we promise to keep it all year long!! Great are the people who actually do it..

I keep my resolution honestly for the initial eight to ten hours, then I wake up!!

All of those who know me can guess that my resolution every year would be to lose weight and I am constant in that resolution!! I promise myself I will lose weight this year and end the year with +2 added to the starting number.. Now I'm tired with that revolution..

This year I've decided to rethink my resolution and make it realistic.. I've decided that I will do at least  twelve things this year that I've always longed to do.. Besides that, I've decidedI'm going to do is to be positive.. Positive attitude attracts positive feelings!! So the first thing I'm going to follow all year through is being positive and making genuine efforts to be happy.. You can spread happiness is only when you're genuinely happy!! Normally, we think over something that has hurt us, over think it more and more and stay in that state of pain, anger, frustration etc.. The one thing I've realised is staying off negativity is easier only if we make conscious efforts to ignore it, to avoid over thinking regarding that incident.. A minute lost in negativity is sixty seconds of happiness lost.. Put in efforts to get it off the system, let it pass and then find something that makes you happy.. Without a negative thought, finding happiness is easier since we become more receptive and open.. And I can definitely say so because I've been doing it last two weeks and it's made me more positive and happier.. Happiness is there everywhere, we should only let it inside us!!

It's been 2 weeks since the year has begun and it isn't so new any more.. Let us all just resolve that this year we will put in effort to be happy, be more positive and spread joy wherever and whenever we can!!

2 minutes

You have 2 minutes?? Let's cook Maggi!! (so the ads claim, I don't really propagate that thought)

Do you know what else can happen in two minutes?? Let me list the few things that has happened within a Span of two minutes in the last two weeks !!

1. 2 minutes of shut eye in the afternoon  resulted in a nail polish bottle being broken in the room and the floor and furniture being smeared with a glazing purple color and an innocent smile thrown in my direction by the toddler while walking around the room and painting everything purple!! It took me quite some efforts to get him out of there, clean and put him to sleep and around an hour of hardwork and one and half bottle of nail polish removers to clean the room!!

2. 2 minutes of focusing on a book resulted in all his belongings scattering on the floor, a room full of mess and the toddler on the TV table trying to play tabla on the TV.. Being a mom, having a clean organised house is my biggest dream!!

3. 2 minutes of talking on the phone and the toddler has found his way into the bathroom, turned on the water, half filled the bucket and plopped himself inside it.. Ya, didn't realise he learnt how to open the bathroom door..

4. 2 minutes today resulted in an incident  which in parenthood is protected by a vow between the parent and child that such incidents would never be disclosed..

5. I've taken 2 minutes now to end the blog and gotta rush to see what the vessels in the kitchen is being thrown around for!!